


i wanna sleep next to you

by qiansbaby (qiansbabyx)



Category: NCT (Band), SuperM (Korea Band)
Genre: 4 + 1, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Homesickness, I Don't Even Know, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, LuTen, M/M, Mutual Pining, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, this is a real tag, yukten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 11:12:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19105942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qiansbabyx/pseuds/qiansbaby
Summary: “what do you want, xuxi?” he asks, voice weird from sleep and with a pout that makes xuxi feels even more guilty. maybe he shouldn't have come, he has to stop being a baby and start to go through things on his own like everyone.“so?” ten asks again, voice toying with the edge of irritation. xuxi feels his heart sink a little.“i came to ask if i could...hm, maybe, sleep here with you?” he says, and it doesn't even sound like a question, doesn't sound like nothing worthy listening, really. xuxi can feel the way his face starts to heat and curses himself internally for getting so easily embarrassed whenever it comes to something involving ten.(or, four times that xuxi sleeps on ten's bed and one time that is the other way around)





	i wanna sleep next to you

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first time writing for the nct fandom and also my first time writing in english, so go easy on me! :D

four times that xuxi sleeps on ten's bed and one time that is the other way around 

1.

the first time it happens is an accident

xuxi just got back from his schedules for the day and his body is tired, he can feel it on the way his arms are sore and how he is stiff from dancing the same choreography too many times on music shows recording. _he is tired_ , but his mind won't settle even after he takes a hot shower and have dinner, feeling like there's too many thoughts inside his head trying to surface at the same time. xuxi _feels_ tired, but he still goes to the other dorm where ten lives with the dreamies, wearing his pajama pants and an old t-shirt, hair still damp because of the shower. 

there's only jeno and jaemin in the living room when he arrives, watching an anime that xuxi doesn't recognize. they greet him briefly, obviously not caring about his sudden visit, and it makes xuxi wonder if he's gone so many times there already that his presence became something ordinary to them. 

ten's room is in the end of the hallway and the door is slightly open when xuxi gets there, but he still knocks softly two times before pushing it more open, peeking his head inside. ten is sitting on the bed drying his hair with a towel, he doesn't have any makeup on and his face is a little pink, like it gets after you take a hot shower. his brows furrow a little before he sees that the person at the door is xuxi and the frown dissolves into a slightly upturn of his lips. the chinese boy takes that as his invitation to enter the room fully. 

“what brings you here, xuxi?” ten asks while xuxi sits on the bed, a hint of humor on his tone.

“i dunno” xuxi says, shrugging “guess i couldn't sleep and didn't wanted to disturb kun ge so...i came here” he finishes lamely, looking around the room just so he can avoid ten's gaze. he didn't think about not disturbing kun's sleep when he made the decision to go see ten instead of staying in his shared room with the other chinese boy. he knows that kun is a heavy sleeper and would not be disturbed by xuxi's tossing and turning on the bed below his, but xuxi doesn't think he's ready to admit out loud that he just wanted to see the other boy. damn it he doesn't even know _why_ he wanted to see ten when he's feeling this anxious and tired, mind racing with different thoughts.

“couldn't sleep? but you look tired” ten has a slightly frown on his face as he says it, eyes focused on xuxi's face. the boy just nods dumbly and confirms that yes, he's in fact pretty tired and really wanted his mind to relax and leave him alone a little. Xuxi hears ten's little sigh and then he's scorching closer until their knees touch.

“too many thoughts?” ten says like he already knows the answer. xuxi wants to ask how he knows, does he have them too, sometimes? And if he does, how does he get rid of them? 

and xuxi must've gave out something in his expression (or ten is reading his mind) because then he starts to talk, voice calm and soothing, a comforting hand pressed against xuxi's covered knee.

“it's okay xuxi, sometimes you can't shut off your brain even if you really wants to. i've been there too,” his smile is gentle when he says that, but his eyes are serious, as if to show xuxi that he's not lying, xuxi doesn't think he would “we have so much going on our lives and sometimes it's a little difficult to just relax even after all the schedules ended y'know?” 

“yeah hyung, i think i get it but...how can i make it stop?” he asks, feeling like a cry baby as a sudden rush of emotions come to the surface, making his eyes water a little. he blinks three times to clear his vision from the unshed tears.

“well, when _i_ feel like this i tend to try distract myself from the thoughts, watching a movie or dancing, if i can” ten's voice raised a little and he's looking at xuxi with such a caring expression that makes xuxi feels a little dizzy, more thoughts treating to enter his mind. 

“i don't think i can dance right now ten hyung, my body is all sore” ten laughs a little at his answer, tilting his head to the side with a cute expression.

“i'll choose the movie then you big baby” he says  
with a mocking tone but xuxi knows that there's no real bite to it and tries to get more comfortable on the bed while ten gets up to grab his notebook.

thirty minutes later they're lying down on the bed with the computer between them. ten didn't say what movie he chose but xuxi suspects that he's not going to like it (he'll watch it anyway).

turns out that the movie it's not bad, and forty minutes into the plot xuxi is a little confused but glad anyway, feeling so much better already. ten is now curled close to him, one of his hands grabbing xuxi's arm and his head pillowed on xuxi's right shoulder (xuxi says to himself that's not their proximity making him feel better).

from the position they're in xuxi can feel ten's breath on his neck every time the other boy moves a little and it's making him feel a little lightheaded, something warm curling inside his chest. he's starting to feel sleepy as his mind finally decides to give him a break and starts to clear from the intrusive thoughts, but xuxi doesn't want to get back to his room to sleep yet and fights the heaviness that is slowly setting on his eyelids. he hears ten make a cute noise from his place against xuxi's side and when his eyes shift from the movie scene playing on the notebook to ten's face he's greeted with soft eyes and a smile that he can't describe. 

“you can sleep if you want to” he says, voice barely above a whisper. they're so close that xuxi thinks he can see the little freckles across the bridge of ten's nose. _pretty_ , his sleepy brain supplies and xuxi feels himself agreeing with it, still looking at ten's face dumbly.

“what?” ten asks, really whispering this time when xuxi continues to stare at him and it makes xuxi snap back to reality, dismissing ten's question with a yawn and trying to focus his attention back into the movie. he hears ten sigh, but doesn't dare to look at him again, afraid of what his sleep induced brain will make him say. ten shifts again against him and then there's fingers playing with his now dried hair (xuxi almost whines at the feeling).

he's really trying to not fall asleep but ten is making it so difficult for him and his tired body, it's not fair.

“life it's not fair” ten says chuckling, the vibrations of it going directly to xuxi's heart. he wonders for a second if he said that out loud, but then his mind is shutting down for real really fast and he doesn't even feel when his eyes close, too brain dead to notice his own action.

_it's okay xuxi, you can sleep here, with me_

he thinks he hears ten says, but he's already too deep in his sleep to know if he's dreaming it or not.

 

2.

the second time it happens it's not accidental, just a little sad.

xuxi's been feeling a little on edge all day, uncharacteristically moody and quiet. he thinks the members can tell, because they leave him alone for the most part of the day, just showing up to say their goodbyes as most of them are going home for a few days. xuxi is not going home, and he's not the only one, he knows that mark and johnny won't go too (the _can't_ stays between the lines) and that ten too is not going back to thailand, but besides them he thinks that all the other members are leaving, even kun, who went sooner because of his mother's birthday. 

xuxi is a little jealous of that and feeling a little lonely (maybe more than a _little_ ), his room and dorm seeming bigger than it really is without kun and the other members. he sighs, xuxi really wanted to see his mom, but he's not allowed to go to thailand beside schedules yet and his dad is travelling somewhere so he can't go to hong kong too. he's sad and doesn't want to sleep alone, so he goes to ten's dorm again like he always do when something is bothering him these days, trying (and failing) to not feel embarrassed when the memory of the last time he fell asleep on ten's bed resurface in his mind, making he feel all weird inside. 

it's a short walk to the nct dream dorm, (since they literally live on the same building) and it's not long before xuxi is knocking on ten's door again, this time completely closed. on the three minutes that takes to ten to open the door xuxi realizes how the dorm is unusually silent and wonders if all the dreamies have gone home too, leaving ten all by himself. he doesn't want to talk about the way his heart aches at the thought. 

when ten opens the door, the first thing that comes on xuxi's mind is _cute_. ten is wearing an oversized sweatshirt and he's looking adorably confused with his eyes barely open and nose scrunching cutely. 

xuxi almost smiles, but then realizes that he without any doubt woke ten up and feels dumb all of sudden.

“ _uhh_ sorry for waking you up hyung” he says sheepishly, right hand scratching lightly his left arm just to have something to do. ten rolls his eyes, clearly not happy to have been put out of the dreamland, and sighs.

“what do you want, xuxi?” he asks, voice weird from sleep and with a pout that makes xuxi feels even more guilty. maybe he shouldn't have come, he has to stop being a baby and start to go through things on his own like everyone.

“so?” ten asks again, voice toying with the edge of irritation. xuxi feels his heart sink a little.

“i came to ask if i could...hm, maybe, sleep here with you?” he says, and it doesn't even sound like a question, doesn't sound like nothing worthy listening, really. xuxi can feel the way his face starts to heat and curses himself internally for getting so easily embarrassed whenever it comes to something involving ten. 

ten, who now has his eyebrows furrowed and is looking at xuxi in a scrutinized way that makes him feel nervous. _he shouldn't have come._

“i'll just go back to my dorm!” xuxi says a little too loud and both of them wince at the sound “sorry again for, uhm- interrupting your sleep hyung” he tries again, not too loud this time, and is a little proud of himself for it (even if the way he stutters the words makes his ears feel hot) “good night” he finishes lamely and wants to punch himself for the way he always seems to sound lame around ten. 

xuxi doesn't even look at ten one last time before turning to the direction he came, feeling dumb and embarrassed and _still_ missing home. 

“wait, xuxi” ten calls and it's ridiculous how quickly he turns back to look at him. “you didn't let me answer your question,” he says, voice void of any irritation from before. “c'mon, i wanna go back to sleep” and xuxi feels his heart beat fast for the little smile ten gives him. 

 

five minutes later they're laying on the bed, xuxi's head on one of ten's pillows. they're facing each other and ten is looking at him but xuxi doesn't feel nervous this time, mind calm like a morning breeze. 

“why didn't you want to sleep alone?” ten asks, softly but curious, making xuxi open his already closed eyes to look at him. ten expression is not inquisitive, just genuinely curious and xuxi feels comforted in someway.

“i couldn't go home and i miss my mom...i didn't want to sleep alone because i was feeling lonely” he answer in one breath, his voice barely above a whisper.

ten presses his lips on a thin line, like he's deciding what to do with this information but then he's scorching closer and suddenly xuxi has his arms full of ten and his petite body pressing against him and _uh?_ he thinks, but hugs ten back all the same because he loves hugs and he needed this and he's glad that ten is the person hugging him. 

“i miss my mom too y'know, all my family in fact.” ten says after a moment, his mouth brushing against xuxi's neck every time he talks. “sometimes i miss them really bad and feel lonely too, so i can understand how you're feeling now and i'm sorry for the way i treated you earlier...i can get really cranky when my sleep is interrupted”

“i could tell” xuxi says, a hint of humor on his voice and ten hits his chest lightly in retaliation but he can feel his smile pressed against the place where xuxi's shoulder meets his neck and knows that there's no bite in it.

“and there's nothing to apologise for hyung, really, thanks for letting me stay here” the _with you_ goes unsaid but his suspects that ten understand it all the same, if the way he presses impossibly closer to xuxi says something. 

for a moment they just stay like that, on each other's arms, breathing each other's air, xuxi's arms around ten smaller form and ten's hands drawing invisible patterns on the baby blue shirt that the younger boy is wearing. 

xuxi feels better, not lonely anymore. 

“xuxi” ten calls softly and the boy answer with a little noise, he's starting to feel sleepy. “you can sleep here anytime you need or want, i want you to know that okay? i'm here for you, always” 

when xuxi looks at ten this time he's looking back at him, such a tender and soft expression on his face that xuxi has to breathe deeply and blink two times to stop the sudden rush of feelings trying to survage and spill from him

“thank you, seriously hyung, you don't know how much you mean to me. how much your friendship helped me and how much i'm grateful for being your friend. i want you to know that i'm here for you too, even if you don't need me, i'll always be here.” 

ten blinks, looking taken aback and xuxi feels his cheeks heating for the way his rambling felt too much like a confession. ten still looking at him and xuxi thinks he imagines the way ten's gaze shifts to xuxi's lips before he looks back to his eyes, face slightly pink. _stop projecting_. he tells himself and then pretends it doesn't hurt when ten breaks their embrace, they're still pressed close, arms brushing, but not hugging anymore. 

the air between them feels heavy with tension and xuxi wonders if ten can feel it too, but when he looks at the man besides him he sees that ten has his eyes closed and almost rolls his eyes for his stupidity. _stop protecting_. he repeats and roll to the other side, facing the wall. xuxi closes his eyes, suddenly feeling tired from the rollercoaster of emotions he suffered in the last few hours and slowly feels his body starting to relax completely, welcoming the good and old sleep.

it's when he's drifting between being awake and asleep that he feels ten's hugging him from behind, nose pressed on the base of xuxi's neck. he doesn't know if ten is awake, but he tenses all the same just to melt into it a minute later, relaxing on the comforting embrace.

“is this ok?” he hears ten's voice whisper, and if he was more awake it would make his mind race with too many thoughts but he's almost completely asleep already and so he just makes a noise and moves his hand _ever-so-slowly_ to grab the one that ten's has around him. after that he passes out, and doesn't hear the soft confession whispered against his back.

 

3.

the third time it happens it's because of a sleepover and it's not really ten's bed, but they're together and that's the point here 

It's chenle who invites him, looking excited and talking loud about how _it's my first time sleeping here without having any schedule the next day and we're going to play games and eat a lot so please come_. He couldn't deny anything to chenle even if he wanted, and he doesn't really want to, so he packs a small bag with his things to stay the night, grabs the biggest pillow on his bed and goes.  
everything is set when he arrives, lots of blankets and pillows put together to form the beds where they're all gonna sleep tonight ( _we're all going to sleep together in the living room, jaemin said it's good for bonding_ ) he remembers chenle saying while smiling and grabbing renjun's arm, who looked much less pleased with the idea. the boys are just sitting there talking and eating some sweets that they definitely shouldn't be eating at this hour or at all, the management would say. he's surprised for a moment to see ten there too, sitting between jisung and jaemin (and it's really dumb, because ten literally lives there, so _of course_ he's gonna be there, _but_ ). he's wearing a black tank top and pajama pants with weird patterns, his bare face showing the dark bags under his eyes from the lack of sleep and the pimple on his left cheek. he's laughing from something that renjun said to haechan, the high pitched one, with his mouth open and smile stretched wide and eyes turning into crescents. 

xuxi think that this is the most beautiful sight that he has ever seen. 

“what are you doing standing there looking like a dumb statue?” 

renjun says, a mocking tone on his voice and a knowing look on his eyes when he glances at ten direction subtly that makes xuxi's ears feel hot. _well_.

“xuxi hyung! you're here” chenle says, interrupting his inner monolog and saving him from himself. by the time he joins them on their sea of blankets his embarrassment is mostly completely forgotten.

it's fun, being with them like this. the nct dream members are the closest ones in age with him besides mark and it's good to talk and play with them (he doesn't think that the age has something to do with it tho since ten is the oldest of them and he still seems like a kid when bickering with haechan about the game they're playing. _“i'm not playing dirty! it's a fair game!” “i know you're lying, now show me the damn cards in your pocket or i swear to god-”_ ). maybe xuxi just really likes them all. 

they go to sleep when the clock announces that it's two in the morning, after watching two horror movies that xuxi pretends doesn't affect him even if he feels like crying of joy when it _finally_ ends (he also pretends not to hear ten and renjun making fun of him for it).  
it's a little difficult to arrange everyone on the makeshift bed but they make it work and xuxi ends up sandwiched between jaemin and ten, the first one snoring lightly on xuxi's back and the other in a cocoon of blankets that comes up to his chin. 

xuxi groans inwardly, but doesn't let the sight of ten's cute little mouth in a pout and sleepy eyes get to him (even if his heart is, in fact, beating a little faster) and closes his eyes to sleep.  
and he tries to, but xuxi can't shake the feeling that he's being watched and when he open his eyes the feeling in his gut proves itself right as he can see ten staring back at him, a look that xuxi can't describe on his cat-like eyes. it's strange, but it makes the chinese boy feel warm all over anyway.

“hi” ten whisper, and xuxi can smell the mint on his breath from how close they are, he blinks once and then twice before answering with a hey that seems to be punched out of him. _lame._

it makes ten smile tho, and xuxi doesn't feel bad anymore for being incapable of holding a conversation with him without embarrassing himself if ten smiles like this for him every time. 

_ugh this one was way too cheesy_

“why are you doing that face?” ten asks, scrunching his nose like he's trying to imitate how xuxi's face look right now.

it makes xuxi laugh

“you look so dumb right now” he tries to whisper, but his voice goes high pitched at the end because of the laugh bubbling out of him. 

ten looks like he wants to smile, but xuxi can see the myrth on the arch of his dark eyebrow when he says, “this is how you always look” and maybe xuxi should feel offended by it, or even a little bummed, but instead he feels like he's melting with the fond look in ten's eyes, knowing that there's no bite behind his words but just playfulness and he likes him _so much_

“no i don't!” he says back, pretends to be offended just to make ten laugh again and it works, ten's laugh ranging a little too loud in the barely lit and quiet living room. it makes xuxi smile too and then, 

“could you guys please _shut up_? some of us are trying to sleep here” he hears the aggressive whisper coming from behind ten, where renjun is (or was) sleeping. it's cute the way ten looks startled, but the look on his eyes tells xuxi that the sorry he murmurs to renjun is not really sincere because he doesn't really care and it's dumb but makes xuxi hold in another laugh. he can't help it, he always feel like a bubbling glass of champagne when he's close to ten.

“maybe we should just go to sleep” he whispers (a real whisper this time) and ten nods but doesn't move an inch, neither does xuxi. 

they're still staring at each other when ten blinks slowly and bites his bottom lip. he looks like he wants to say something but is uncertain if he should or not. xuxi doesn't like that look on his face, because ten can say anything to him, always.

he's about to ask about it when ten beats him to it and speaks, voice soft and unsure.

“xuxi i-” he starts to say but them someone makes an angry noise behind him and is not renjun this time but xuxi doesn't care enough at the moment to look for the owner of the passive-aggressive noise, because ten is going to say something to him.

“what?” xuxi asks and he can barely hear himself but he looks at ten eyes, focusing all of his attention on the thai boy and,

“we really should go to sleep” ten says, and even if he is smiling xuxi knows that this is _not_ what he was going to say, but he doesn't even have time to ask ten what he really meant to say before the boy is turning to the other side, leaving xuxi to stare at the back of his head.

needless to say, he has a damn awful sleep that night.

 

4.

the fourth time it happens it's because he's drunk 

 

xuxi doesn't remember how he gets to the dreamies dorm this time. he remembers going out with ten, yuta and sicheng for dinner (because ten asked him and xuxi would certainly die before saying no to him), and he remembers when yuta, smiling mischievously, brought a bottle of soju for their table even if he knows (all of them knows) that they're not allowed to drink on weekdays and most definitely not out of the dorm without a manager to damage control if one of them drunk asses decided to do something stupid. xuxi knew this, but he drank anyway. they all drank, in fact, laughing and eating meat like they were not in danger of getting scolded just for being there at the restaurant. 

he remembers seeing ten getting drunk, his voice getting whiny and his face pink with a temporary blush because of the alcohol. he remembers the way ten called him, grabbing his hand on the table and asking for attention, his eyes sparkling on the shitty light of the restaurant. (xuxi thinks how ridiculous it is for ten to _ask_ for his attention when pay attention to all the things he does is xuxi's favorite hobby) 

he remembers the way sicheng looked at their intertwined hands on the table and raised an eyebrow but said nothing and he remembers of ten, a little after, feeding him some meat that he didn't ask for but ate anyway because ten was blinking expectantly at him. 

he remembers getting on the taxi, much later in the evening, and remembers how he curled himself into ten's side even if it was impractical because he's the taller one between them two. he doesn't remember much after that. 

maybe he's slept on the rest of the car ride and they decided that he wasn't in conditions to go to his dorm on his own, witch was a little insulting since his legs were working just fine and he was sober enough to get home safe, maybe, probably. 

“oh, you're awake” he hears a voice say, and he doesn't need to look up from his place on the couch to know that is ten. he looks up anyway. 

ten is still wearing the clothes he was using when they were out and he looks almost as drunk as xuxi feels right now, face pink and eyes a little glazed but relaxed. it's stupid that xuxi thinks that he looks pretty like this too?

_“pretty”_ he says, didn't meant to, but maybe his brain to mouth filter is broken after so many drinks. he doesn't regret tho, even if ten looks at him like he doesn't understand

“what did you say?” he asks, but xuxi just shrugs and smile, ten sighs and roll his eyes. “let's go to bed, i'm tired, c'mon” 

and the way he offers his hand for xuxi to take makes the younger feel stupidly fuzzy inside, maybe it's the soju starting to give him a stomach ache but he doesn't care, not when ten's hand looks so tiny on his and not when his feeling high for the way that ten said ‘let's go to bed’ like it was _their_ bed, not only ten's. 

and maybe say he doesn't care about the stomach ache was a mistake, because when he tries to get up his entire world spinnes and he falls back into the couch, laughing at the squeak ten let's out as he falls on top of him even if he's feeling a little sick. 

“you're a disaster” ten says, in english, and it's a surprise that xuxi can understand in the state he is right now but he does and it makes him pout, just for show

“don't do that” ten says, now fully sitting on xuxi's lap, and it's automatic the way xuxi’s hands go to his waist. he watches as ten blinks slowly, biting his bottom lip “makes me want to kiss you” and it's a whisper, but they're too close for xuxi to not hear it or to pretend to not to hear it. and _oh_ he wants that. 

“you should” he says back, voice sounding like a scratch, throat suddenly dry. he can feel ten tensing on his lap, the hand on the back of his neck grabbing his hair with a little more strength. ten eyes are now sharp, so different of the fond look from minutes ago. 

“you should kiss me” he repeats, with more certain this time and he doesn't need to say it a third time because on the next moment ten is kissing him like he had been starving and yes xuxi has been starving too, for more time than he likes to admit and so he kisses back with the same enthusiasm, pushing ten's body until they're pressed together, breathing each other's air.

ten tastes like the soju they drank and it's bitter but xuxi doesn't care. their kiss is not gentle but xuxi doesn't want it that way, glad to feel the sting of ten's teeth on his bottom lip and then his tongue easing the pain. it's addicting, the way ten kisses, and xuxi doesn't think he'll ever get over it, _he doesn't think he'd ever want to get over it._

they make out on the couch and then on ten's bed (trying to get to the room in silence and without pushing each other on the wall proves to be a challenge but they make it work). xuxi goes to sleep with his limbs heavy and mouth tingling pleasantly, arms full of ten and heart full of ten and mind full of _ten_ (and he wouldn't have it in any other way) 

 

 

+1. 

it becomes a habit.

ten treats him the same, nagging with him for letting his things all over the place and not cleaning up after himself even more than kun now that they’re all living together in the same dorm. he still makes fun of xuxi for being clumsy, and the two of them still team up against kun just to rile the other up. 

and it’s so normal that it almost seems like nothing changed. _almost._

because before ten wouldn’t sit on his lap like he belongs there and kiss him until xuxi can’t feel his own lips. before, he wouldn’t curl himself on xuxi’s side when they’re watching a movie or grab xuxi’s hand when they’re inside the car going for some schedule. it’s strange at first, because xuxi always has been the clingy one between them, and of course, they touched each other a lot before, but it never felt intimate like this.

_xuxi loves it._

he loves the little touches that ten gives him, he loves the kisses they share late at night on the couch of the practice room when everybody else already gone home, and he loves the way that ten looks at him now, with the same fondness he always looked but more, like his eyes can’t hide that he likes xuxi. 

xuxi loves it all, their incessant texts and the ‘i miss you’s when one or both of them are away from home because of schedules. xuxi loves it _so much_ and he thinks that he might love ten too ( _so much_ ).

they don’t really talk about it, this _thing_ that they have going, they also don’t tell anybody and xuxi doesn’t know if there’s something to tell but he thinks he’ll know when the time comes. for now tho he’s just happy with what they have. he hopes that ten feels the same way.

they never slept on the same bed after that night, because now ten has a roommate and xuxi too has one (and even if sicheng has a soft spot for him, xuxi doesn’t think he would appreciate their cuddle on the bed besides his own). xuxi feels a little bummed with it but thinks that it’s ok, even if he sometimes misses ten body pressed against his own and the confort that it brings. 

****

he’s getting ready to bed when ten enters his room, body pressed on the closed door and eyes determined. he’s wearing a baby blue shirt that most definitely belongs to xuxi if the way it goes all the way down to his thighs say something. xuxi feels his heart do something funny inside his chest at the sight.

"hey" he says, hands reaching for his pajama shirt to slip it on. xuxi more feels than see ten's eyes on him, checking him out without doubt and he can't help the smug grin that he has when he looks at ten. the older just rolls his eyes and pretends that xuxi can't see the sightly blush on his cheeks.

"we need to talk" ten says, serious and it makes xuxi flinch, suddenly hyper aware. ten seems to feel his nervousness and smiles, reassuring.

"don't worry, you didn't do anything wrong, i just want to talk" he repeats, closing the distance between them until his mouth is pressing against xuxi's on a little peck.

xuxi sits on the bed, ten on his lap as he always do when they're alone, his hands on xuxi's shoulders and xuxi's hands on ten's waist.

"so, what do you want to talk about?" he asks, because he's curious and ten's silence is making him anxious even if he said that xuxi didn't do anything. 

ten pouts and then sighs, but then seems to soldier up, the determined look back on his eyes.

"what are we xuxi?" he says, frowning "i mean, what is this thing that we have?" he asks, and now ten seems to be the one nervous and xuxi will not have that. 

"i don't know. i like you, you like me, we're together" he says, sincere "do you...not want to anymore?" he asks, suddenly insecure, because and what if ten is here to break whatever is that thing they have, what if he doesn't want xuxi anymore, what if he-

"hey, stop this, i can almost hear your thoughts and it's giving me a headache, i didn't come here to say that I don't like you anymore" ten says, touching one of xuxi's cheeks with his cool hand "it's actually the opposite...i like you a little too much and i want to know if we are on the same page here" and then ten is biting his bottom lip, like he's _unsure_ and xuxi can't believe it, doesn't want to see anything besides happiness on this boy's face. 

"well, i kinda love you, so i think we're pretty much on the same page…" and the surprise on ten's face makes xuxi wants to laugh because he's so cute and naive for think that xuxi could possibly be with him and don't fall helplessly in love with him. "...and i really want you to know that you don't have to worry about how i feel about us or you because i...love you" he finishes, blushing a little because of the unplanned confession. ten blinks slowly one, two times and ten xuxi is falling on the bed with ten on top of him and they're kissing really desperately but also softly and xuxi feels like he's on clouds, feeling all fuzzy inside and so damn happy that he can't help but let a laugh bubble out of him, making their teeth clack (something that makes ten laugh while doing a pained sound).

"so, you love me?" ten asks, batting his lashes coyly as if he's not sitting on top of xuxi, as if xuxi wouldn't do almost anything for him. 

"yeah, i love you" and he repeats it between the kisses they share next, whispering softly against ten's pierced ear and making him giggle. 

 

"i love you too, xuxi" he says, after a moment where they just stare at each other, he looks so soft, his eyes spackling and mouth smiling. and xuxi is really happy too, knowing that ten feels something so powerful for him.

_he is everything, and he chosen to be with me_

they kiss more and laugh more and xuxi thinks that _this_ (ten's ugly laugh echoing in the room while he clings on xuxi) is the truly meaning of happiness. 

"so, are you my boyfriend now?" ten asks, almost shy, his hands playing with the patterns on xuxi's shirt.

"do you want that?" 

"do _you_ want that?" ten asks, serious this time, staring at xuxi expectantly.

"i want everything with you" he responds, like a joke, but there's too much feeling into the words to not seem like another confession. 

ten, being a very romantic man, pretends to gag.

"this was so cheesy, oh my god" he says, voice whiny while he beats xuxi's chest.

"how can you say these things and not die from embarrassment? seriously" 

"this is what you signed for, _boyfriend_ " xuxi says and it sounds good for his ears, the idea of ten being his boyfriend, he can get used to it easily. ten too, seems to like it, if the way he smiles and kisses xuxi full on the mouth say something about it. 

they kiss a lot more, until xuxi's lips are sensitive and his dick half hard inside his sweatpants. they don't do anything besides kissing (and biting because ten loves to give bites and xuxi likes to receive them) through, and when they're too tired to keep kissing ten just lies there, using xuxi's body as a bed.

"can i sleep here?" ten asks, rising his head from xuxi's chest to look at him. the movement makes xuxi wake from the state of slumber he was getting into. 

"uhh i don't think sicheng will appreciate that" he says smiling, even if himself is a little bummed because of it, he wanted to sleep with ten so much, it's been a long time.

"ha! don't worry about it, sicheng is sleeping on my room today" ten says, smiling smugly at him.

"oh? so you planned everything huh?" he says, and ten just shrugs, eyes sparkling with mischief as he falls besides xuxi on the bed. 

xuxi's bed is smaller than ten's bed was on the other dorm, and so they have to be pressed close to fit. xuxi doesn't think it's a problem tho. 

****

he wakes up in the morning feeling a little too heated and with one of ten's legs thrown over his hip. on his side, the dancer is still asleep, cute nose pressed against xuxi's shoulder and mouth slightly open. xuxi thinks something may be happening on ten's dream, because he murmurs something ilegible and then hugs xuxi, pressing impossibly closer. his little mouth pouts and his nose scrunches up, and it's so cute that xuxi has to breath a little to keep his heart from beating to fast. he loves this guy.

_he is everything and i'm in love with him_

**Author's Note:**

> 1 - xuxi calls ten pretty in cantonese and that's why he doesn't understand  
> 2 - i don't really like the end, but this is what my college-student-deprived-of-sleep-brain could come up with  
> 3 - comments and kudos are appreciated, thank you for reading this mess!  
> 4 - if you wanna scream with me or talk about yukten (or scream with me about yukten) here is my cc: https://curiouscat.me/qiansbabyx


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